VIGGO FERREIRA-REDIER AND VICKY KRIEPS IN LOVE ME TENDERStubborn ladyThis film dominated by the engrossing (if not exactly enderaring) performance of the always excellent Vicky Krieps is based on the autobiographical docufiction book of the same name by Constance Debré, from which it differs in certain ways. It doesn't make clear how illustrious her family is, though it hints at that. It doesn't make clear how distinguished her legal career was before she renounced it to live as a lesbian and a writer. The film pares down effectively, focusing on the most difficult and devastating aspect of her life, her struggle with her ex-husband for custody of her young son. Also unmentioned here is that she was a mature mother, because she was married for fifteen years before she had a child.
This film is a tough watch. But it becomes engrossing as one watches a painful process unfold. Everyday life has a hard time peeking in from time to time. Advocates of the film argue that its over two-hour length is necessary to convey the experience, which is a long and painful one. Maybe. But then why does it leave one numbed and confused? In his Hollywood Reporter review Jordan Mintzer calls this film "hard-hitting" but says it "overstays its welcome." One might have understood this woman better if one had known more of the details of her unusual life given in the book source and described in 'Alexis Okeowo's 2022 New Yorker article, which considers how LGBTQ people and women considering giving birth might relate to the ideas in Debré's book.
The film is powerful and sad. What happens is that Clémence Delcourt (Krieps) meets with her ex, Laurent Lévêque (Antoine Reinartz) at a Paris cafe and tells him that she is "seeing women." Laurent mumbles and stumbles in response, saying he wants her to be happy. In fact, he immediately takes legal action to completely cut off Clémence's contact with eight-year-old Paul (Viggo Ferreira-Redier). To this end Laurent accuses her of incest and pedophilia, charging her with having homosexual friends who are pedophiles and citing books she has that are obscene. This will dominate the film, with the lesbian love life next best, swimming after that, writing, cycling (she takes Paul for a ride in the country) and last her on-and-off social life. She seems to move from place to place, seemingly longest subletting from a perky young man called Léo (Julien De Saint Jean).
Clémence has to wait for months to see her son again, and when she does, it is with two other women present as observers at a "Center." While Laurent has intimated that Paul has no use for his mother, he was being fed ideas by his father. Investigation shows that he loves his mother and wants to see her. The meetings are unbearably painful and touching and real, though a less experienced actor to play the boy might have worked even better.
Then as time, even years, go by with a long break, for a while Clémence gets to be with Paul not just for an hour but for twenty-four. She can take him on an outing. At his request she takes him to see her father, played by veteran actor Féodor Atkine. Clémence sees her father regularly. We learn that he lives in a guard house on the great estate that he once owned, and that he is dependent on the French morphine substitute Subutex (buprenorphine) which is administered to him by a visiting nurse.
Clémencet tells Paul "we will get through this." But Laurent is working all the time on his son. The hostility so disturbs Paul that he begins refusing to see his mother. She meets with a judge who supports her, but he warns her that his opinion will have no effect. Later we learn Laurent repeatedly fails to conform so that Clémence sees less and less of Paul and they become more and more estranged.
While all this is going on, the film struggles a bit to provide a balanced picture of Clémence's growing life as a writer and as a lesbian. It's only past half way through that she meets a woman journalist, Sarah (Monia Chokri) with whom she becomes serious. Even then, Clémence is cagey and so plainly and brutally tells Sarah that the relationship with her son is more important than she is that it almost ends the relationship, which eventually does end.
In retrospect Clémence's stubborn independence as a shaved-headed, mannishly-dressed, athletic lesbian camping out here and there, living an artistic life as a writer and proclaiming her "dedication" to eschew social gatherings at cafes - while smoking a lot despite the swimming regime - may be seen as rather a luxury, since it is all a matter of self-denial by choice by someone whose family is so rich she would never have been homeless, starving, or penniless. Hence one begins to understand a little bit the disapproval of the ex-husband. But he is seen exclusively as a very weird kind of jerk, and nothing could justify his seeking to cut her off from her own son, or being a homophobe. A secondary theme of the film is how powerfully in conflicts like this the French State works to crush women who are unconventional.
At the end of the film Clémence declares that, having effectively lost custody and contact with her son through her husband's efforts, she has learned to renounce him. She says there is no reason why this kind of tie, mother to son, can't simply end like any other love relationship. And the film leaves us confused, because she also says that Paul may want to reconnect with her: "You know how unpredictable teenagers are" and earlier, the boy has said when he grows up he wants to take her and her grandfather's name - weighted though that name may be. The way the film leaves us confused at the end reflects how difficult it was trying tame the powerful, unruly book source.
Love Me Tender, 134 mins., premiered at Cannes in Un Certain Regard May 20, 2025. Opening Dec. 10, 2025 in France, it received a 3.3=66% critics score on AlloCiné. Screened for this review as part of Rendez-Vous with French Cinema at Lincoln Center (Mar. 5-15, 2026).
Showtimes:
Sat., Mar. 7 at 12:00pm – Q&A with Anna Cazenave Cambet and dp Kristy Baboul
Thurs., Mar. 12 at 3:00pm
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