Angelina Häntsch and Iman Crosson in Along the Roadside

Road riffs

In a moment of panic, Varnie (Iman Crosson), a San Francisco–based branding specialist, flees his stable life and career when his girlfriend reveals to him that she is pregnant. As he makes his way out of town towards southern California, he crosses paths with Nena (Angelina Häntsch), an untethered German tourist who has just missed seeing her favorite band, Blonde Priest, live. When she learns that their next show will be down south, Varnie, who's met Nena on the street, casually offers to take her along. It's a while before he drops his hostility and begins to like her.

The producer of this film, Cal/Coast News tells us, "is 2005 Cal Poly international business graduate and former [6'9"] basketball star Vladimir Lisinac, 31. . . .Lisinac co-founded Metakwon Filmworks, the film’s production company, in 2007 with his brother and business partner Zoran Lisinac of Los Angeles who also serves as the director and screenwriter of the indie film."

These two Serbian brothers transplanted to America may be expressing a unique Slavic sensibility in their quirky road movie, but that's not entirely clear. Things move along a bit unevenly and the tone isn't always consistent. But one of their best shticks is by the great Serbian actor Lazar Ristovski (Underground, King of Thieves), who tows Varnie's BMW convertible when it breaks down on the road and takes over the scene, When Ristowski holds forth while sitting at the wheel of his truck, with Crosson on the other side and Häntsch in the middle, Crosson suddenly shrinks and seems like a boy -- not an unappealing effect. This is one of several brief glimpses of the possibility tht Crosson, made gruff and unappealing here, might be winning in another role.

Zoran Lisinac's busy, inexplicable dialogue, especially in the first half, tries much too hard.

"You're kind of a glitch in the system, like young Republicans or under-hung black guys."

"We did a demo, it's not very good quality, but all of our friends like it."

"Yeah, but that's like deaf and dumb parents applauding their kids."

Nena: "I'd like three kids. One of each."

Silicon Valley culture blogger Clinton Stark thinks Michael Madsen in a sharp white suit and red sunglasses, in his cameo two thirds of the way through, "looks just as you’d expect a high profile actor to look like in a small indie comeback role (think Mickey Rourke in Spun)."

Ah, well, Spun. Can you remember Mickey Rourke in Spun (2002)? See the video entitled "Mickey Rourke's toucjhng scene in Spun" on YouTuube. Unfortunately, it's one of this wildly manic little drug picture's tritest and fakest bits of dialogue. Spun, which I reviewed, is a cool speed freak trip trip. Along the Roadside (not a promising title, by the way) could use some funer, more manic moments. It could maybe use some drugs (it's got cigarettes). Its references to Sartre and Camus are naive. It's without much focus and, perhaps rightly, with no real climax. Fortunately, the casting of Häntsch and Crosson has an oddball edge. Do they have much chemistry? Hard to say. But each of them has a reasonably strong presence. The trouble is the much more experienced actors sprinkled through the story to add flavor are featured over Häntsch and Crosson when the cast is listed, and fit's not right for the protagonists be placed in the background of their own picture.

Beware a movie that has a montage in the first ten minutes. Roadside gets better later, once it gets past its introductions -- way past them. But for much of the time it has way too much to say and too little to do.

"You know what the new religion is? Green. Environmentally friendly. Organic shit.. . ." says Varnie.

Cousin Cliff (Rhomeyn Johnson): "Just ignore him."

Yes, ignore him. This script has verbal diarrhea. But it has moments. An hour in, when the actor comes pretending to be a racist cop and abuses Varnie and Cousin Cliff, and then they all go to a party, and Nena quiets down, it becomes fun. "Did you ever notice that the Acura symbol looks just like a pussy, but it's just upside down?" asks Cousin Cliff. As Ciff, Johnson is amusing and at ease. Unfortunately he comes and goes, like everybody else but Varnie and Nena. . And Varnie and Nena don't change much.

The actor, as they enter the party: "I'm all over it. You push, I'll deal. Or you can deal -- whatever you're feeling. You complete me." His riff on "mathod" acting is amusing.

Michal Madsen indeed brings a potent menace and unpleasantness into the film, but the mood passes. The couple, as they are now, for the moment anyway, go on to the concert by Blonde Priest that Nena has come from Europe to see. Online notes say that "Singer-songwriter Cole Bonner has written and performed the songs for the elusive band (Blonde Priest) that Nena (colorblind girl from Germany played by Angelina Häntsch) has come see perform at the concert in the US. The songs serve as a Greek Chorus explaining the story of Along the Roadside as well as addressing the audience and the characters alike." But isn't that usually the case? Anyway, the songs are pleasant, and raise the tone of the film, which some find a delightful form of indie quirk. It could do fine on DVD or downloads. In a theater, nix. If Mike D'Angelo were watching it, he'd have a hard time making it to two reels, and it would be a W/O. The best moment was when they came into the party. There was expectation.

Along the Roadside, 108 mins., debuted at Belgrade 23 Feb. 2013. The producer/brother/basketball player was hoping to enter all the big festivals, Cannes, Venice, Berlin, Venice. That didn't happen. It has been shown at half a dozen smaller festivals in the US. It was screened for this review as part of the San Francisco Film Society's Cinema by the Bay series, Nov. 2013. This one could be called "Cinema Away from the Bay," because that's the story's direction.

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©Chris Knipp. Blog: http://chrisknipp.blogspot.com/.